It’s hard to believe its 69 Bottles Teaser Time again!!! 2 MORE WEEKS Until the release of one of the most anticipated books in this series, not to mention the conclusion to the story of the band 69 Bottles.
I’m here today to wet your whistle and get you pumped about the upcoming release of Defining US – The Calvin & Eric Story.
This book was the biggest challenge I’ve ever faced when it has come to writing a story. The amount of research, blood, sweat and overwhelming amount of tears that went into this work has made a story that I am most proud of.
For today’s teaser… I give you the Begining… I give you the start of Chapter 1…
Defining Us: The Story of Calvin & Eric is a Standalone, Full Length Novel. Can be read without reading the other books in this series.
Loving someone completely means giving them your heart, soul, body and mind. What happens when your heart and soul love someone, but your mind and body refuse to follow?
For Calvin Caldwell, being the lead guitarist of America’s hottest rock band 69 Bottles has its perks. Performing night after night with his closest friends, he finds peace with a guitar in his hands. Playing music wipes away his unimaginable past, albeit temporarily. He struggles not only with who he is as a person, but with who he wants to become and what he is hiding.
Being in love with someone certainly isn’t the problem. He’s been in love for a long time, but what defines him is what keeps him from the person he loves.
Seeing something you so desperately want, but can’t have…
Eric Richardson knows exactly what he wants out of life.
He wants to play bass with his friends because performing gives him a high better than any drug he’s ever used. Being on stage is where he feels most comfortable.
But what happens when being on stage is no longer enough to satisfy him? What happens when the person he loves, doesn’t love him in return?
You fight for it.
You define it.
You prove it.
A rock band, A tour bus, One wild ride…
***CONTENT WARNING ***
This book is not recommended for anyone under the age of 18 due to the following content and more: M/M sexual content where nothing is off limits. So If two men turn you on or give you a reading rush other books can’t, then this books is for you.
For me, picking up girls has never been easy. Hell, I was lucky if I could manage to carry on a conversation with them, let alone get in their pants.
Whether we were performing in a bar in the middle of some Podunk town or some major arena somewhere, the chicks threw themselves at us. Picking up chicks became easy for an awkward, sexually repressed man like me. It was easy enough that I could manage to talk very little and get what I was after, though ninety percent of the time, I ended up in the bathroom spewing my guts out into the toilet when it was over.
“What about her?” Eric says to me as he points out some chick. I shrug it off like I’m not interested. In fact, I’m not interested, not tonight.
“What’s crawled up your ass and died?” Dex shoulder checks me.
“Forget it,” I grumble and put my hands in my hair. In an exasperated huff, I get up from the couch and head for the back door. I feel trapped inside this bar. Trapped inside myself.
Something about today has triggered this uncertainty. Something about today has me on edge, and I don’t quite understand it. I feel like beating the shit out of something, or forgetting my name with pussy or drugs.
I rub vigorously at my arms, attempting to scrub away the creepy, ants under my skin feeling, but it’s pointless.
I’m restless and I’m itching…twitching, desperate to wash the memories of the past away.
I’m gay… Eric’s words when we were in New York continue to ring through my head. The words that I somehow desperately needed to hear him say without knowing that I needed to hear them. Words that have brought back everything that I’ve ever desired, along with the reasons why I can’t have it.
Eric and I had talked that night, after the concert. He pulled me into a quiet room at the bar we were in and…
“I have to tell you something,” he tells me.
“Dude, you’re gay, I get it.”
“No Calvin, listen to me, please?” he pleads.
“How drunk are you?” I ask him and he smiles.
“I’m not. I just feel…” he shrugs and then starts pacing around the room, it looks like an office area, there are filing cabinets and yeah, whatever, it’s not important. “…Free,” he finally finishes.
“Free of what?” I take a pull on my beer.
“Everything, all the burden of wondering what people will think, free of the fact that I no longer feel I need to hide who I am from people.”
I snort, “Dude, you’ve never hidden who you are with us. So you like the dick, no big deal. Honestly, Eric, we all knew.” I shake my head dismissively at him. It’s not entirely true that we all knew, I suspected, of course, but… I shiver involuntarily and fight the bile that rises in the back of my throat and my blood runs cold with hatred, hatred of myself, and of my father. Hatred that this conversation is going to turn ugly faster than I’m sure Eric intended it to.
“Did you?” he asks.
I give him a sideways glance as I take another sip of my beer, hoping that it will wash down the bile and give me something else to think about. Yes, in a way I did know, in another way I truly hoped I was wrong. I could deal with loving someone when I didn’t think they could or would love me back. I could easily sit back and let him have his own happy life while I sat quietly in love with him. It was easier for me to admit my love for Eric when I thought nothing would actually happen between us.
He shrugs off my glare and goes back to pacing. Without saying anything.
I was safe without knowing for certain that I really was in love with a man who didn’t stand a chance of loving me back. How is it possible that I could be attracted to someone who wasn’t capable of feeling the same way toward me?
That was how I rationalized all this until now.
My inability to talk to Eric drove him mad and he stormed out of the room, leaving whatever he came in here to say unsaid.
Sex is something I take a lot of pleasure in, until I come.
Orgasms are the trigger of conditioned therapy. A belief that was ingrained in my brain for far too long. So much so that the idea of giving into being with a man, I have to swallow the bile rising in my throat, is enough to set off the little triggers my body and mind were conditioned to have as a response.
Best Selling Erotic, Paranormal and Contemporary Romance author Zoey Derrick comes from Glendale, Arizona. Zoey, was a mortgage underwriter by day and is now a romance and erotica novelist full-time. She writes stories as hot as the desert sun itself. It is this passion that drips off of her work, bringing excitement to anyone who enjoys a good and sensual love story.
Not only does she aim to take her readers on an erotic dance that lasts the night, it allows her to empty her mind of stories we all wish were true.
Her stories are hopeful yet true to life, skillfully avoiding melodrama and the unrealistic, bringing her gripping Erotica only closer to the heart of those that dare dipping into it.
The intimacy of her fantasies that she shares with her readers is thrilling and encouraging, climactic yet full of suspense. She is a loving mistress, up for anything, of which any reader is doomed to return to again and again.